Thank You, Teachers...


Thanks for Hitler/Holocausting white students to death. After years of causing homophobia as guys who fit in sucked in their chests and realized that since they fit in and don't have anything to compensate for they wouldn't kill Jews like those ugly, inbred Germans, you finally achieved results.

You had to get rid of good-looking thin guys with dark hair and freckles and keep the black guys in remedial so that some of the guys that look like Justin Bieber but with blond hair would wander into a Starbucks and impress women by saying that they're bisexual, thus making it socially acceptable to be gay.

And it worked out very well that all of this started amidst all of the homophobia created by AIDS.

The best looking blond guy that I was friends with who was in advanced skipped class all the time, read Jack Kerouac, and then became a monk. The best looking guy that I was friends with who had brown hair and freckles became a crack head.

Now that people under 40 aren't getting married, you've done an excellent job. And you turned white people neurotic so that blacks could laugh their heads off and get a boost into college.

I like how history and English teachers would inflate the marks of beautiful blond women so that average looking guys and Jian Ghomeshi could sit in class feeling good about themselves.

Hopefully teachers will play it forward by going into their garages, starting their car engines, and taking a nap.

But for now, after all of the urban decay of the 1980s and 90's, as wealthier white people move downtown while the suburbs fill up with more and more immigrants, it's your job to teach the LGBT teens you've Hitler/Holocausted into being that it's the vibrancy of mass immigration from the third world that allows them to be gay. If you were gay in Sweden in 1987 you'd get beaten up. Vibrancy.



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